new year

this new yeas' eve..wat can i say??

1.struggling
2.broken
3.shattered
4.sad
5.depressed

well.nothing's happy goin on now..there is no joy in me yet..
cant seemed to find some joy.everything jus help me to pass time instead of healing my heart.
i am running out of things to do already.where can i hide from all this?

to all my frens:
may u all have a happy new year.mine is jus another new year with the same year's pain.

christmas day

this year's christmas is the saddest one...i wasn happy at all...there is nothing to be happy about..yea its the time to remember the day tat christ was born for us..i know tat..and i respect tat...i did it in the morning...

still the pain lingers around me...takin my heart little by little...i am really gonna go gila already..budweiser is not helpin me already..

i wanna scream...i wanna hit anything tat i can see...wish all these would sub it to the pain tat i am feeling..it hurts extremely especially today..i dun have the mood to do anything already..

maybe budweiser needs a stronger dosage..it hurts...it freaking hurts...

y do i have to go through this??

wat is this?

well...i had a busy week last week..cos launching on friday..i din really take any pictures..jus tat alot of ppl never see cars one came to see car lo...good also they come..i heard alot of positive word of mouth among them..glad that they like the car.

its already 1 week+...still i struggle to move on..time is the best medicine..does that package come wit patience?i dunno bout it..but i cant take it anymore..budweiser is not taking any effect anymore..it hurts...everytime i go into my room..i feel the pain..its like the pain is waiting for me to come into the room and consume me..

i tried to act strong...be strong...forget tat everything has ever happen...well..looks like theodore kong is lyin to himself..i still cannot see the next step..its too dark..will i fall into the pit and die there?or will a light come and show me the path to glory???

GOD HELP ME!!!!!!

new honda city launching

as all of u know..the new honda city has already been launched!!dengs my dad's company haven yet...so we gonna do it tomorrow and saturday. dunno why would he wanna do it.here are few pictures wat we did today.

first of all my job.


i have to chop the company's name and address on to these leaflets. took me 3 hrs. but after tat it became like this:


after tat i went out to see wats goin on. i saw these




yeaps everyone is busy..the reason y i am free is because i did my jobs quick and fast..so i finished my jobs in a span of 3 hrs.

tomorrow we will be showing 2 cars.the two latest Honda City: the one on the left is the s variant and the right is the E variant. wats the difference??acceories and style:)



yea...everything is set..we are all gear up to go for it..the launching is ready to go...this is a shout out to all labuan kia....tomolo is launching day!!!come come..look look see see....there is food to eat.not to worry..and KEEP THE INVITATION CARD AS THERE WOULD NOT BE A TEST DRIVE TOMOLO AND SATURDAY. TEST DRIVE ONLI STARTS ON MONDAY!!

all the best to premier motor labuan tomolo and saturday!!

TGFF

i sprained my ankle today...thank u jack tay for lettin me step on ur leg.tomolo i need to get a new ankle guard cos my old one cedric took and claimed it for himself..babi...

my title for me blog today is TGFF. TGFF means Thank God for FRENS. well y would i say le??well these 3-4 days i have been emoing.....damn bloody banyak..a little i also emo.damn kao alot...until my parents also feel like i changed alot in these few days.even my sister dun really talk to me.i prefer to be alone.in office also dun talk much.rather hide in the room to keep quiet.

i emoed till saturday..but i also wanna take this chance to thank those who tried to cheer me up and console me.i appreciated it alot.hehe...well sat nite suddenly FLY RICE (fei fan) and PARROT (sophia) called me to go nyam cha.we went to tiara..i was like wat the heck..ok la..we go nyam cha mai nyam cha lo...mana tau we go there nyam ang mo cha.i tot malaysia nyam malaysian cha? anyways who cares asal ada cha nyam can d lo...hehe.

in the mids of chit chatting..sophia asked me wat happen..so i told her..cos she read everything in the blog.so had to tell her lo..cannot hide anything.hehe.finally i fell relax after telling her and fei fan.i think when i told my bro (IVAN) some went there..den i told others they took some of my pain and change it into comfort..den finally sophia and fei fan took the last bit off when i told them lo.i felt alot better...is it due to the acohol or the fact i am released?hee..

after angmo cha...we went for round 2 cos the others are hungry..we eat ang mo food again..mcd...in labuan...mcd SUCK!..hehe..but who cares..hungry ppl cannot be choosers..we eat and chatted more there....met ivy,clarissa donald and samuel..hehe..we decided to sit another table to talk lo..den donald came and join us..we chatted till 11.30 den go back...i straight sleep cos tired..ah..i had a good rest cos i cant wake up..means i sleep like babi..hehe

today was great besides spraining my ankle..yea now i pai ka...tempang...gg kao kao..anyways..TGFF( THANK GOD FOR FRENS)...i get to enjoy my day today...cheers..

let go

well time has spoken..i am to let go. thanks for the answer. wat can i say??hai...wanna cry also cannot cry la.tak ada hati cry also...wanna be pissed also cannot be pissed....so jus be myself and pick my damn ass up and walk on life all over again..this time i shall do it alone...

......................thanks for the answer......................the truth hurts...........but wat can i do...........i am not in the position to say anything......................

good bye and welcome singleness again:::::::::::::::::::::::::::>>>>>>>>i am single and no more available....no more means no more gonna be alone for the rest of my life.

cheers and thanks for the support that was given by the sorrunding people...

depressed or sad?

well..i have been moody all these two days...since yesterday and today.i smiled..fake smiles i did.i cant concentrate on the things i do today.even counting invitation cards took me 2 hrs.i recounted for at least 8 times.

dad was surprised.mom shocked.i din talk much.jus kept quiet.instead i do more when i am quiet.din feel like talking to my colleagues today.so i kept quiet and stayed in my mom's office.

i have this heavy heart now.i feel heavy while walking.dun feel like eating at all or eating too much.hai....is this depressed or sad???

risk

it hurts..but i shall risk it...
sakit sakit la..biarkan....
i dun care bout it...i shall strive for it...

body of an old man

i am officially an old man. i would admit that.my body hurts all over. i am physically tired.wat happen?well i shall share it out

sunday 7th dec 5-6.30pm: non stop of badminton
sunday 7th dec 8-10pm:futsal

monday 8th: gotong royong in cohs.

my right body feels like a vegetable now..i cant really handle them out. it really hurts.each of the parts of the body....even the joints hurts.now my back hurts too..i feel like a helpless old man who cant move about easily. even my frens laugh at me. finish la me.

i had a great day today. worked my ass off..maybe it would help me lose weight. i am really fat already. dengs..need to kurangkan the fats...hehe..tiring lo today..hee.i shall rest.now tired d...gg already..


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untitled

i cant seemed to find a titile for this post.
maybe i shall jus call it untitiled.
well..
i am in labuan.
i feel i dun belong
its the 5th day i am back
i feel nothing
not like my real home
still hoping tat i shall settle down
here its different
nothing to do
work also nothing to do
relax like mad
the town have not change
onli the people have changed.

i jus miss kl..
really miss fcc and everyone there
i hope tat time will pass soon
which is impossible.
anyways. its still 1 month 30 days.
i shall see her.
till then i shall call her
sms her.

thats all:)

I Miss HER:)

third day

today is my third day in labuan..hehe..i am working currently. kinda free today.doin nothing much.jus warming the bench of the office.well i am counting time now and its good actually tat i start to do something which is worth while..hehe...well its boring me in the office.but i dun mind. i need the cash and i am willing to work for it.hehe

there are three things i need to blog bout today:

1. I am sorry!! for calling u late. i din know u would go to the exam hall so early. really really sorry. i will call u earlier tomolo so tat i would not miss the time before u go to exam :) anyways all the best in the exam...i would hope tat u will do the best there in the exam:)

2. thank god tat we settled our problems..i am glad that nothing much is happening now. which i think would be better for us:) after u finish ur exam...i think we can take more time to know each other..hehe..it would be better for us lo..i really hope tat i can be wit u soon:)

3. i cant wait till 4th feb..dang...time pass like so so so so slow like tat...its like the day will never come like tat.i wanna gila already waiting for it:)

hai....wat to do..i gotta wait..hehe..back here in labuan..there is nothing much to do besides lepaking...its the best place to lepak:)....

i shall wait ur reply:) all the best and i miss u:)

my first day

today is my first day in labuan. i din sleep last nite.packed and den went to airport.
we missed the turning to lcct!tim was tired. kesian him.hehe.but anyways we got to the place 20 min later den i wanted to arrive.bt i din care. as long sampai can d. we ate mcd breakfast. i enjoyed it very much.hehe..we chatted and all tat..lepak..

den i went to check in. got everything settled asap.hehe..as soon i was walking out of the checkin in one place. SHE called!!yes!i was so happy tat she woke up jus to say goodbye:)happy kao lo.at least i can leave kl in peace.hehe..

i slept in the plane the whole time.until neck pain,i got back to labuan..den my mom's first reaction was. u are fat.haha..i admit..cos for the past 1 week i was eating like a hungry man. non stop eating.

i din do much in labuan today.

1.went to pasar
2. eat pan mee (SUCKS!!)
3.repack my room
4.play with optimus prime (no more transforming into a truck.or else i will break something)
5.call HER
6.Miss HER
7.Make MISS MEDICINE for her
8.sleep
9.overslept.
10. dinner
11.blog
12.sleep?

well..i gonnna work tomolo..have to cos there is the need of money.hehe.well i gtg lo.sleep first.hehe.have to do no.12. so go strength to work

i miss u all..fcc ppl, cs ppl, everyone....jus be perasan pls:)

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my last day in fcc

the title speak for itself.what could i say?well i admit i CRIED!!yea i am a man.but man do cry sometimes rite?well its because i was so touched by the gift that i received from all the ppl:)

my first gift.was a transformer. optimus prime. thanks for the people who gave me that. i really appreciate it. its the thing tat made me cried!!!tim.thanks:)

secondly thanks wen and lavinia for the card:)i have read and understood everything already. i think i shall fail again the next time we meet. hehe. i am ready to be punished by the two of you again. till then i shall get ready for the day to be punished

finally. how could i forget YOU????u almost made me cried already before the beginning of the service.YOU said u won come?hmm...i was actually a little disappointed lo.i had already a back up plan to go to find u:)even i have to walk all the way there. i dun care. i must see YOU:) mana tau when i need to go out to do something which i forgot.i saw u.i was lighted hearted and happy:)i missed u alot and i was kinda relief to meet u:) thanks for accompanying me for dinner.i really appreciate it cos u did sacrifice alot for me. i am so touched lo. thanks for the card:)i shall tell reply the card's questions later:)

ppl...i am leaving already. i shall take all the memories.sad and happy ones to go.i will never forget u:) add me at doredore_blue@Hotmail.com->msn. all of you made my day:) thanks alot fcc and kl!!

i miss u and i always will miss U ;)

friday!!!2 more days.

its already friday! oh no...i gg...goin back on monday morning!!@@@@@@@HHHHHH....i was not suppose to go back tat early.suppose to go back on monday evening 1!!!hai but the air asia changed my time in the flight.tat means i am goin back early!!hai...bt wat to do..i will be goin back lo..still..maybe go back earlier better?i dun think so...gg..

before i go on today...i shall say a little bout yesterday..thanks alot for goin out wit me:) bein with u seems like 30 min while we spent the whole nite out already.time flies too fast d...when u wan it to fly it crawl.when u wan it to crawl it flew..that is something i dun understand.hai.but nvm.still get to spend time wit u:)i am satisfied d.hehe

anyways i din blog yesterday as i wan my happiness to consume me.i dun mean tat its getting to be my god but i jus wanna enjoy my happiness:) its been so long i tasted this kinda happiness..hehe..maybe 4-5 months???maybe..or even longer den b4.hehe.i fell asleep smilling(i am not gay!!) for the first time in 12 years.hehe..

ok i got up today.early...its so cold.i was shivering like a coward!!but i din mind.hehe..cos i gonna go nyam cha wit you.i was excited. even the cold did not have any effects on me.hehe.i went to church and waited. time crawled. hai..purposely i read the newspaper in order to make the time past faster:)well..i went nyam cha wit you.i am happy.and the time passed too fast again. hai.if i can make the time past fast.good lo.hehe

after tat i had to go back.someone had to study.i gotta respect that.exam is more important than me now:)better to do better than not so good.hehe.i went back to church.den rick brought me out to pan mee.good.i like the taste.but too much jelak (though half onli i eat.big bowl lagi tu)

den went back to help fren move house. jus talk nonsense instead:)the lori feller slow.ffk at 3,3.30 and 4. had to leave at 5 to go makan dinner wit grandma.hehe.i stuffed some great stuff which i almost vomit.hehe.but i din care.i am eating one of my last meals in kl.go back labuan den can kurus back:)

now its time to go off.i need to go grandma there nyam cha.chinese tea.good for health.make u healthy:)gtg:)

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4 days more.my days are numbered

still got 4 days more. today is wednesday.
went out today again
had a early lunch
hungry now.

went to get a bday present for my mom.
din know she was in town.
told me she is goin back today.
its ok. i get to see her this monday.

lepaked wit tim...the feller is always getting picked by me.
thanks for letting me pick u
u are a nice person.

prayer meeting tonite.
after pray kao kao.
nyam cha kao kao
den kena scold by victor the lees kao kao
hai.
scold la if u wan cousin.
i dun mind.
in my mind is onli someone..and SHE knows WHO SHE IS.haha

i am hungry.i shall have a bite.

nothing else matters.

this blog is entitled to someone special. its written specially for you:)

nothing else matters when i want to see YOU everyday,
nothing nothing.
not even time will slow me down.
every hours seems like minutes,
minutes seems like seconds.

2 years would seem like 2 days to me.
i admit 2 years will be very long.
especially being apart from YOU so long.
summore in a different country.
however i wish to be positive:)
negativity makes the time seem longer.
it hurts every second tat my time in kl is coming to an end.
but i have made my decision and i have to stay by it.
to study abroad and to gain experience.

yes i will wait.
how long?
wat we promised each other- 2 years.
wat will happen? we dont know
i promise YOU what u wan me to promise YOU.
But i shall see how it goes.

YOU are not selfish:)
really YOU are not.
YOU think for the future:)
for the Better.
I know YOU feel guilty.
pls dont.YOU did something Great.

2 years 2 years: 730 days + 1 day = 731 days.
how long will it feel?YOU and i know:)
the day will arrive soon. tat we cant see each other anymore (i am not dying)
but i still will keep in touch with YOU:)
and ur frens will cheer YOU on.

I also wanna see YOU everyday.
Be wit YOU everyday cheers up my day:)
YOUR smile, YOUR zadao face, YOUR laughter.
is like a light in the dark cave.
its where i find my way out:)

YOUR sms. gives me the heartbeat of a anxious person.
reading YOUR sms helps me relax.
it also help me know how are YOU.
its the onli communication we have:)
i wil stick by it.use it to its full potential.

i shall see YOU soon:)
it shall be my last.
i will meet YOU after 2 months.
till then all the best to you and happy always:)
thanks for everything

being with YOU. nothing else matters:)

5days left 2...crazy crazy...

its still 5 days....i will be goin back soon..hai i wish i won have to go back...i wish i would took it back from choosing to go to australia.i cannot take it soon..it shall make me break down..i am really sure of it..i never knew it would take a big toll on me.it really is painful to leave everything which i have grown in so much into...it freaking hurts.till i cant take it already......it is really driving me crazy...i cant really sleep properly at nite thinking of the things i did in kl..its joy and sadness..the ppl i know and the people i jus got to know..all have been carved into my heart. the worship team especially...changed me so much..

fcc..wat can i say?its not for faith christian center..i would brand it as fantastic christian church.the people..everyone...crazy..fun and happy...seeing our church grow...i could not imagine tat we have become tat big..all thanks to God's grace....everyone i know in church made an impact in my life. i love u guys...huggs to the gals and high 5 to the guys.

The people i wanna thank:

Brotherhood:

1. Ivan= ur time spent wit me as a brotherhood changed me and encouraged me thru these 2 years together
2. Aaron= ur craziness and ur laughter brightens my days and encouragement make me go thru hard times as brotherhood
   

Labuan People:

1. Brooke Ann: u are our tai ka jie. thanks for bringin us around in ur Myvi
2. Kenneth: u are as naughty as always. which makes me laugh
3. Joshoua: u are always funny. making silly jokes and also thanks for helpin me in my hair
4. Gracy: thanks for goin out nyam cha every nite with me. ur drums rock. i shall not forget the times we played together.
5. Raymond: u are constantly in the dark but u are always agreeable. thanks for that.

Fcc People:

Worship team

1. timothy: thanks for bein a good housemate. thanks for letting me "bully" you and crack jokes about u. u are a really nice person.
2. Seng: thanks for ur scolding and ur guidance on my bass.it really helped me improved. i am truly grateful for u.
3. jovina: ur laughter. wat can i say. u are like a laughing time bomb. making me happy by jus looking at u laugh. its funny.
4. gabriel: thanks for the rides to church. i really appreciate it. i shall never forget ur style of driving especially "faster la!!!(in Hakka)"
5. Mike mike: i still remember the times tat we always cook dinner together. not to be gay but ur cooking is really good. also thanks for the badminton:)
6. Graise: thanks for letting me cook at ur place:) i really like ur kitchen and it shall remain in my heart:) thanks for bringin me out to dinner sometimes too and also thank u for picking me up from the airport.
7. Wayne: ur bass improved so much since i taught u. i am touched by ur heart of wanting to improve. suprass me in ur bass. that is wat i hope to see:)
8. Gavin: u my fren. haha. i shall never forget the times tat i always call u my golden retriever. i shall take tat back. its good to play alongside u from time to time. i like ur grove:)
9. Tim wong: thanks for entertaining me in sandakan. i really appreciate it. all the best in ur leadership:)
10. Chong xing: thanks for the time tat i always go ur place to play ps. thanks to u i know how to play winning 11.
11. Danny: thanks for bein there as a fren when i am in trouble:) it really encouraged me.
12. Rick: u are one crazy feller addicted to eggs. i like ur bass:) the 5k "wife" of urs rocks:)
13. Cassandra: u are quiet. as if. but u can scream. scared the hell out of me:)

Fcc members:

1. Hui ling: thanks for givin me the opportunity to cook for church:) i enjoyed although it takes a toll on me:)
2. Chu yee: thanks for the chance to serve in the cafe and trusting me with the cash:)
3. Adele: thanks for letting me know u:) u are one really funny person.
4. Samuel vun: bishop's son. wat can i say?u are a really nice person (dun dare to say anything in case ur dad reads this blog)
5. Cedric: ur camera rocks. ur taste in pictures really intrest me in taking pics too. haha..thanks for the futsal times too. i enjoy playin wit u.
6. Wen Jun (book Kwan): thanks for being the "captain" of the futsall/football team. thanks for the trouble of booking the place for all of us to enjoy the game.
7. nelson: pls bugger u gotta stop the "doinks" and "lol" its really lame till a lame guy like me says its lame.pls.
8. Mike Mei (yi wen): well thanks for the time in camp. its good playing around the camp. making moktail.haha.
9. Garry: ur the loudest in church when it comes to responding to the pastor. i always hear u loud and clear:)and we share the same passion. food.
10. Lavinia: though i jus know u. u are always laughin.hehe.funny.
11. Wen: u are a open person. onli 2 hrs i feel like i know u alot. i can immitate ur laughter already(the begining)
12. freda: what can i say about u?hehe..u are a wonderful person. i shall let lavinia and wen to continue to say how wonderful u are:)
13. Kendrick: u are my share goup member and the 1st fren in kl:) we are crazy together kacauin hsu chew. i miss the old days of JS.
14. Aaron: u are constantly high on flour. haha.. u are one great fren and a share group member. i will miss ur baptism.congratulations in advance
15. Foong yee: our share group tai ka jie. our leader and a person who is funny. thanks for leading us:)
16. Kevin: if i dun know u i tot u are still studyin. mana tau kawin already. hehe..u are playful and a good basist. u are forever my Si Fu.
17. Vui theng: my nenek.haha u are always there to listen to me when i got problems. hehe. thanks for the encouragements.
18. Tracy wong: u are my second grandma. thanks for everything. its fun playin the fool with you
19. Victor lee: my dear cousin. how could i forget u? i purposely put u last!well i got alot to thank u 2. thanks for the rides in ur car. the encouragements. the crazy times. the CS time.bringin me out to nyamcha. badminton.basketball. thanks for letting me kacauin u too. brightens up my days. i hope it brightens urs too:)
    

( IN CASE I FORGOTTEN TO WRITE UR NAME DOWN AND THANK U. I NOW THANK YOU. I CANT REMEMBER ALL OF U)

all the people i din mention in the list. i wanna thank u too. i really do. but i cant remember already. i know too many of you already:) thanks alot ya!!!:). i love u guys and fcc!(sobs)

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5 days left

well there are 5 days left..oh no...i cant let it pass so fast..one day is already down.hai...the more the day comes (monday) the more i dun wanna leave kl.hehe for one particular reason la.i love it here.hehe.it already feels like home.well wat to do. i have chosen the path and i have to follow it lo.if not i am a not responsible person..

wat did i do today:

kar heong- eat chicken rice. + rice and + chicken= very thirsty.
went to dinner with tim and "grandma"= too much food = + fat. but i enjoyed the food.hehe. the pics will be up loaded soon when i get them from grandma.hehe.

that is all for today. gotta sleep and den wake up later. dunno wat to do later.maybe play cs or ps 2.

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6 days left

well..i am counting the time now.its countdown time..6 days i will be in kl and the seventh day i shall return to my labuan.happy and sad at the same time can be prescribed to me now. i shall need it. hehe....well i am not packing yet. not in the mood and btw there is not much to pack cos i sent my things back already. so there is onli little left here to pack.so i can relax a little bit.hehe

well....there are so many things to do..and its freaking me out.hehe.

monday nite: dinner wit tim and tracy (granny)
tuesday nite: badminton wit micheal (i think so la.dunno weather micheal remember)
wednesday nite: prayer meeting/ futsal.(wah heavy)
thursday nite: futsal(again i think. if dun have sure go lepak)
friday nite: Syabu- syabu (wit graise and gang)
sat nite: service and dinner( i hope wit u lo..u know who are u)
sunday nite: confirmation service and CS (siao liao..when am i gonna pack??)

monday nite: balik labuan :(

well tats about it..every nite i goin out....gila gila already.hehe..monday nite sure cannot go out one...die..go home and sleep.den tuesday i think i shall go to work in office gua.hehe..

anyways...i am so so freakin out now..i am goin back and i got alot things to do..time sure pass damn fast one la....hai...why cant i make it slower?if i make it slower means tat i am mean. cos i have a good time wating to go back while other ppl suffer. thank god i not like tat. wat the heck am i crapping about..no wonder la...already 2.41 am sure crap one lo..sleepy d..hehe

well..its time to sleep.i need to get to the bed b4 battery runs out. which has 0.0001% left. the bed won come to me and i have to go to it lo.hehe.sleep first.kl i love u and all the ppl in kl (fcc/ metro) shall talk bout u tomolo.

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what have i been doing?

well.. its almost a month since i updated my blog. its 11.42 am and i cant sleep already..i was suppose to sleep for another 4-5 hrs as i slept at 7am.hehe..but anyways..thanks Kevin for waking me up.

i remember that my last input was mr2+..well after tat, i embarked on a very special mission. its so secretive that i have to share it here. the mission code was 2SW. stands for 2 suicide weeks. yea..it was 2 back breaking weeks..had to rush assignments for that 2 whole weeks.went to starbucks every day until the person at the counter knows wat i wanna drink.he would say "same as yesterday sir?" onli i will tell him the size. that is all. besides that, i onli slept for 10 hours in 5 days. meaning average 2 hours a day. freaking insane. din know how did i manage to go through it.well i remember that there were 2 assignments due on the same day. 1st is mos= marketing of services (i knw some of u people think that ministry of sound. i hoped it was that but tak la) due 8 am 28 october 2008, the second one is 2pm 28 october 2008. so i had to rush to do both. thank god i finished one 2 days before. so it wasnt so tiring. but still tired cos had to present something on 29 oct and pass up my final paper of sales management on 31 oct. but i went through it.

now nothing much. i did my packing. cleaned the whole room and threw away all nonsense stuff.now my room looks like a prison. jus need the toilet can become the prisons in tv. now i am in exam period. sounds crazy huh..yea its crazy..i had my paper on monday. i studied for 5 days for that paper. well..i was full of confidence...i felt so good..the moment i flip the paper i lost confidence. i felt the tension in the hall so badly tat i wanted to jus walk out of the hall..hehe..i saw all the top students who went in with a smile came out with a papya face..but as a crazy dude..i still dun care...still wanna play around..haha..be happy..if cannot pass den repeat la..that is the bottom line of trying.hehe..

well tats all i think so far...i still got 18 days..damn...i cant wait to go back..but i tak sampai hati leave kl..leave fcc....hai..its freaking insane...i will miss everything that is here..sad....tats all..

life after MR2+

well its done...finally mr2+ is behind...actually instead of feeling relieved that everything has passed. well i dun look forward to this week...instead..i wish it won even come.so many to do and so little time..hehe...but i shall preserver la i think.if dun preserver den i am nt a man..hehe

well MR2+ was great...had so much fun..so much unexpected things happened...i losted my voice for shouting to much...well..i shall write in detail later mr2+

well its already 22 oct. gila..1 mth and 8 days to go...den i shall leave...its scary yet exciting..hehe

attack-humble request of prayer

mr2+ is reaching its peak already. this sat 8.30pm at fcc. well...its exciting to claim music for god.but doing things for god has bad things too (from SYAITAN).

1. suddenly i have tones of assignments to do.all becoming a headache to me. i dun seemed to do anything right right now. have been asked to redo one assignment at least 4 times already. the groupmate does not wan to help me and the feller simply scold.its like i am a useless person.

2. i am not able to concentrate in serving god. especially serving in the worship team. i start to lose patience fast. suddenly feel very tired for no reason. there is no joy in serving. i feel like a big burden when playing for god.

3. i feel tired in everything.although i try hard. i still feel tired. and no matter how much i sleep. i still feel tired. i need strength and though god has been mercilessly giving me strength, i still fel tired.

4. last nite. my house got broken into. for so many months tat i stayed in this place. last nite my house was broken into. although the thieve onli aimed at cash and handphone. still the damage is done. my fren lost the phone and cash. which was a hard hit to all of us cos we cant protect our own things.


at this time. its really a bad time for all of us. especially when something big is gonna happen. i believe so as the devil is all out to attack us. well this is a msg to all my frens and family as a request to pray for me and ppl around me for god's strength, mercy, protection and guidence so that i can go through this.thanks

countdown and looking back

its 9 oct 2008. wow...i am leavin soon...officially 1 mth and 20 days...its insane...i cant believe that its so so soon already..

well...time does not wait for ppl..i am happy and sad at the same time..hehe....well...happy cos i get to move on to perth..thank god for givin me another chance to go there...better make it this time..dun wanna screw up myself there again..hehe...

still cant believe it tat i have spent 4 years here already...it seems so slow when u are passing through it..but after u pass it...recalling back and then look back, it really pass by like an eye..hehe..yeaps...4 years pass very fast...

well still remember when i jus got here...i felt i dun belong..i din even wan to go to church..cos it sucks...when u are in a new place...everything sucks..especially when u are late and someone u dun know does not pick u on time?(its micheal lim and tracy wong actually who picked me..cheers guys).secondly it sucks when u are in the new place and someone does not talk to u..thank god u got ur new fren to be wit u all the time...hehe...

yea..after tat...well..i am at college..remember missin the first test in my life..hhehe..its all ken's fault..he cant wake up..hehe...while i cant wake up..so we same boat la..but i prefer to blame him...still fun...hehe..well.rememberin we pretending to be sick in order to get back to exam..hehe...it was funny when i think back...

the third thing happend to me in the first year in kl is still..hehe..her..well i dun ever regret mentioning this..well i got into a relationship(wit mk)....well it wasnt a good one.was a reall roller coaster ride...but i still dun mind..i did not regret chasin her....she is actually the person tat really treasure alot..cos of the sacrifices she made..which i remember all of it till now.thanks alot for bein wit me (at tat time.nw we no longer together)...

well i shall move on to the second year..well the second year in kl was i got to serve in fcc...well..at first i did not wanna commit cos it was taking alot of time..well i got my punishment.as a result..i gotta wait for another 3 months..6 months in total.well..it sucks..hehe..but the time comes..it was fun..thank god for it...i am glad and happy...

besides tat..that was the year tat i knew tat victor lee...hell he is my cousin....wacko..i got hit in the head like a bullet hittin my ass...hehe.cant accept at first..he looked like an 25 year old monkey..mana tau he is younger den me..hehe..chun la him..hehe..

third year...wat happen??hehe..well...i went to camp wit the church..oh yea...living livestyle..well...we played this game call the live game...hehe..its really a life thing...and i got to be the reble..together with the masterminds des and david...well its like double damage..hee..i learnt tat bein a terrorist..no one like u...believe me...even the goverment hated us..haha..anyways..there i got adopted....by 2 ppl...yea they are my "grandmas".hehe...reason bein.for fun...hehe....i felt so young tat time..hehe..

yea this are my grandmas..do i look younger than them?

second thing...i remember...hell..how could i forget.this is something i experienced first time.hehe...lol..i kena dengue..damn..right before my exam...hell...i had to check into a hotel for it...haha..had to drink water and 100+ all the time..hehe..and i had 2 glass of papaya leaves...thanks to my mom and cx..hehe...but i think it helped me to heal faster?hehe..scary too..hehe...well..hostpital is like a "prison" there are "gurads" takin care of you...believe me. it sucks...just like a convict..u get to be released..hehe..in the end...

well..this year..i din do much...begining of the year i changed course..played in love actually..the concert of course.had tones of fun bein in the concert.
this is love actually..the bunch of monkeys played..well..sadly...2 were missing..sunshine and rainy.


had mr2+ where i became the mc..dengs..i lost my dignity..my harga saham dropped 70%..hehe...
(I am called Liang Zi Lao Hu:2 tigers)my ecomomy decreased.
besides..i went to camp in kk to represent fcc..er...i felt old and young..thanks to the snake.

well it is really a long blog i worte this time...well..i am gonna take this opportunity to thank those who influenced my life..especially bein in a band...it helped me to take music to another level..showin me tat music can make a diff and state u emotions..i also take this time to apologize to anyone who i have sinned b4..i am a sinner..the best thing i do is to sin..well.i shall not say more..time does not permit.i am late again.till then...piss"peace" on u 2!(oh yea snake u have to claim the fish!!)

p.s. sorry for benin so chicken butt(chi pi gu)

oct..

well..its finally here...the month that i have been dreading bout...assignments due already...all of them...its scary man...and the damn internet is like a piece of crap..its really bullshit...how can the internet break down every 10-15 min...its really crap man..stupid internet..

this really suck..its getting up my nerve nw..cant even send things to my groupmates...and a very important presentation is due tomolo...and hell...i cant sent the things to my group mates..wat the heck...sien la like this..

screw malaysian tmnet..its really useless

disappointed

well there is nothing much to say actually...i am disappointed..yea..i am..i dun wanna mend it..it shall be wit me till it fade away itself...besides tat..to me.it never existed or its dead..i dun give a shit and piss on it!!ass-wipe!

msn list lost!!

people..this is an emergency!!i lost all my contact in msn..currently there is no one in my contact...so is my list in my hotmail.

if u have read this..pls add me again on msn.my email for this is doredore_blue@hotmail.com.thanks

ps.pls spread the word.thanks

Frustration 2

yea i am back wit the second frustration..the first one is still there somewhere in my frenster i think.

well its time to cut the crap. wats wrong??i mean wat the hell is wrong??damn man..i tried and tried and tried and tried..and i dun get it..wats wrong wit me??damn i know i am not perfect..aint got no skills...but wats the point?cant it be enough?why is so much expected out of me??i cant do it means i cant??dun u guys understand?

if i am perfect..am i right beside god rite now..maybe wit the others under gab or micheal now...the problem is i aint??damn man..get that thing in ur head cos i aint standin it now...i am sick and tired of it...and i give up....PUIK!!!!

stupidity

everyday i look at the mirror..i see myself..same face same body...different hair...i always say to myself..theodore..u are a F***king idiot..look at you..u are too soft la...how many times already have i been soft??all the time..damn it..i am so soft and nice until i am stepped on..i finally realised tat i am really a F***king idiot..

i have decided...not to be soft anymore..bein soft does not lead me to anywhere..onli goin down the drain as a person..i valued u..i got cast aside...i teach u something nicely u say i fucking order u...you You YOU!!!i will really keep this in my heart...i will remember tat an asshole such as u...i am f***kin disappointed to have u as a fren...a hypocryte...

see i am F***kin stupid...i have been soft and nice and this is wat i get...stepped on...and cast aside...i shall change....i will not be soft anymore...so tat i won be F***kin stepped on anymore..

thank god for her?

well i have thought of a title to put on..but i dunno wat to put..so i decided that it shall be untitled.well...today i slept the whole day..super nice..had a really good sleep..well.woke up bout 3pm..but decided to sleep again until 3++..so it was good...

well.i woke up and decided to continue on wit my manga....well manga is a comic..japanese comic...i really like reading those..its really interesting..keeps time goin fast..and by the time u look at the time..its time to go...hehe...well...i do enjoy my time reading till dinner..

i went to orang for dinner...ate like a pig cos i am a pig...den went to practice in church..well...i think it went well...had a good time...the practice is the last one...for this coming camp.well..it was fun..

the thing is jov saw tat i din look happy...deng...she is really a superwoman wit super ray vision..hehe..she told me and scare the heck out of me..i was suprised...she even saw since yesterday...hmm..scary...

anyways thank god for this kinda ppl..super kind and good..she helped me alot..and i thank god for her as a fren...and her laughter..omg..is loud..and let me tell u this..u sad listen to her laughter...her laughter is contagious..will make u laugh and laugh...hmm..thank god for her:)

updated: things that happened for the past month of july.

well..finally i have the urge to update my blog..well since i haven been updating properly for the past one month...i decided that today i shall write a nice long one wit things that happened in the past one month.well..in july basically i was working my ass off...seriously..makin sure that everyday was a good day for me...hehe..my day in the office basically was busy..

this is the schedule of my working hours
8am-reach office.do office work.
9am-go for breakfast wit colleague
10am-go back to office to continue work
11am-start counting down for lunch hr
12-2pm-lunch hr and rest
2-5pm-continue my work if there is any.but usually i start countdown again.

basically tats my working days..super busy..

secondly wat happend was i decided to ask my mom to have steamboat at home.so this is wat happened.
yea..this is wat happened..well there was basically a lot of food..everything..basically u will get full..i did not get full..but extremely full until cannot walk.hehe..but it was super satisfying after eating all that good stuff.










well..another thing that happened is when i got back..i got a shock when i got back...well i already have a birthday present from my mom...but the second present shocked me though..i am so touch by the present and i tak sampai hati use it lo..but in the end rick came and made me use it..here is the picture.














yea that is.i had a ipod and a bass string for my bday present...i wan extremely shock when i saw the bass string on the table with bday wishes.well although i used the string already..but the package is still kept..hehe..well the ipod was a present by my mom.although she came out onli half la.but its still present...and i thank her for her love lo..which showed tat she is willing to sacrifice alot for me.thanks mom!besides this..wanna thanks those who shared cash money to buy this bass strings for me..i am really touch and i appreciate it.who bought this string pls leave ur comment so tat i can remember u all..thanks..

labuan and its ppl

well..for the past one month i have been in labuan..tomolo will be the 22nd of july and it will be the day i return to kl..well wat have i done in labuan??nothing much i guess..jus work and play....i return to the church frens i had in labuan...they all did not changed..they remain the same..as happy as always..laughin and showin true joy in their eyes..that is something u cannot see often.

hmm....well..its good tat i shall take this oppportunity to thank them lo..jack,donald,sophia,sheryl,delany,ivy,nelly,fei fun ,chris, and also not forgetting donald's mom..hehe..well they each drew on my face..on my bady....while drawing they said a blessing to bless me..welll...its a long time since someone blessed me...i am so touch to have so much blessing...hehe..it has been a wonderful time for me in labuan..lepakin and laughin all the way..jus relaxation heals the soul...

well as long labuan remains in my heart..forever it will be my hometown....

bday

well i dun wanna be so lanky panky...jus wanna thanks those who wished me happy birthday...well...its blessed to have ppl to remember other's birthday...anyways thanks.

well..its already half day..there are still msgs coming in...thank you for remembering and i hope i will be able to remember urs as well..thanks and god bless

too many honda city in labuan

well..its 4pm now...i am on the brink of bursting.i wanna go home.as is nothing to do at the moment..well my story book which is the third one that i brought along wit me to work has been read thoroughly..so i can say i have nothing to do now..besides that i have no where to go...cos i cant leave the office..hehe...anyways...today well...i had a funny morning..to think of it..it actually woke me up...cos dunno why i cannot wake up..well...to think that the honda citys are so common that some ppl even wanna enter the wrong car..well i went to nyam cha wit 2 colleagues today..well we park the car opppsite the kopi tiam...den after finishin the nyam cha we decided to go back...there were three honda city parking side by side at the parking bays...the one in the middle belonged to my collegue.the thing is..three of the honda city are the same batch and are the same color.wat a coincidence...or was it destiny that something funny should happen?
(the stage was ready for a funny show)
well..to of us recognized it immediately and went to the car..my other colleague saw the car..but he went to the one on the left..in the car were full of people from other country..if i have not mistaken..they are from one of the african countries.my colleague decided to go to that car..thinking it was the car..he went to the front door..before he could open it..we saw..too bad i called out to him..den he realised..i wished i did not called him..i wanted to see the reaction of the ppl in the car..it was really funny...cos he was messin up wit words and all that..cant seemed to concentrate on one thing..his face got so red..me and my other colleague could not stop laughin..as for the people in the car..they could not stop looking at us as well..as we entered the car..i can see them laughin..i think they have already gotten the message that my colleague made a mistake by goin to that car and tryin to enter the car.that matter has been a hot issue the whole day..all of us cannot stop laughin at the matter...well..its time more other models of honda must be sold in labuan.this should be done in order to stop "blur" people from making mistakes by entering other people's car and becoming embarrased.

jamie oliver

well i am bored and tryin to ignore the pain of my recently pulled wisdom tooth.so i decided to browse the internet..and i came across the books tat my fav cook wrote.

well u can guess..he is my fav cook..i never stopped watchin his shows..especially sunday nites where his show called jamie oliver's pukake (i think) or the naked chef..hhee..well i have been chasin his shows since the age of 17 when he jus entered malaysian tv at usually on sundays 7.30pm tv3 ( i dunno bout astro cos tat i dun have one tat time).hehe..well after tat i have been following closely to his shows..really like them so much...he is an interesting person besides his cooking and chattings..he cooks food that i feel its really easy to make..nice to eat and can be done on the go...too bad malaysia sells his book all too expensive...if not i shall buy all the books and follow the receipe..i like jamie oliver..hehe..especially the second book from the left on the first row of the picture..hehe.my bday coming soon..anyone have any burden to bless me the book??hee....

half stupid or half clever?

everyone has wisdom teeth..well it grows during the age of 16-25..it hurts when it grows..i dunno y but it hurts..mine grew already fully...both where each one on each side.left and right..hehe..the purpose of these teeth growing each on one side is to balance the wisdom of a human being.for example, when a wisdom tooth first grow on the left..that means the person uses more of the left brain the left brain is used for thinking logically...if the person's wisdom tooth grows on the right side..he/she is much better in memory..for example..ram(random access memory) does the thinking and rom (read onli memory) does the storing...besides that the right brain is used for thinking creatively..if the wisdom tooth grows on the right first...then the person is very creative..

as for me..my tooth grew on the left first...so i am a logic person.....thank god..but my wisdom tooth hilang d now..i took it out today..cos it rosak already..the dentist advised tat i take it out..so i decided to take it out...first the dentist took a xray...cos a little of my gum was sticking on the tooth..that is y la the gigi rosak..hai..so i had a hell of a time takin out the tooth..it hurts lo..the doc put injection to it...so i became the batman 2 face..one side numb kao...and the other side tak numb..hehe...well my tooth took three attempts to come out..the first attempt..the doc used a "playar" to pull the tooth out..firstly she shook the tooth..told me to relax..the first time the "playar" did not do the job..apparently the thing (gigi) did not wanna come out..so the doc took the "playar" away..and she decided to use another "playar" which is bigger..i terus sejuk kao kao..i wanted to move away from the "playar"but the helper held my head..so i stuck..cannot move...so the second attempt began...the doc tried pullin it..den i heard a crack..in my head..i tot die d..have to do surgery..but the doc din say anything..so ok..she tried again..the third time..it came out...i cannot feel anything..den she say :"nah ur tooth"..hehe..

it was my first exp taking out a big tooth..so wat can i say??wisdom tooth..i now not a logical person d??or i become half stupid??hehe...i dunno lo...maybe both...at least i am gonna be creative..so i may not be logical and be half clever d..cos 50% went away d...its time for me to find out..talk to me and see wat happen..hehe

sms victim

each weakdays have been passin as always..slow but steady...i have been working for many days...around 20 days...each day has been passing very slow...especially the afternoons..i practically got nothing to do..until i can finish reading 2 thick story books..one matthew reily and stephen..stephen...stephen....stephen something la...i dunno wats the last name already..onli remember the first name...sorry lo..i lefted the book in my mom's office...as now i am at the serveice departement...cos there onli i can use the comp without bein caught...hehe...

its 3.56pm already...1 more hr then i am out of "jail"...well since i got one more hr..i better blog a bit..hehe..well...the past weeks..besides i have been looking for "sms victims"..sms victims are the people who i find when i am really bored..hehe..one victime is sophia see from labuan..she is currently 22 yrs of age goin to be 23 this dec..well she is still young...but she became my victim..hehe...i would be finding her everytime i need to kill time..hehe..its effective...very...well since she is 016...my 012's credit is depleting very fast...goodness..my mom gave me 30 dollars for july..but its finishing already..so scary...gotta reload soon so i can cari more victims...hehe...i found another target already to become my victim of sms...but i shall see if the person shall reply me smsses...if the person reply...he/she shall become my victim...sophia see peng chee aka parrot is free now..i released her already..she shall be able to pass her days without me smsin her all day..hehe...

if u get an sms:"boring. can u chat wit me?" or "u are a victim of sms" pls do not reply.jus ignore or delete...if not u shall regret it for 2 weeks..for the victims are usually "used" for 2 weeks..hehe

today today....

well first of all wanna thank those who tried to cheer me up..been kinda encouraging lo..i personally made it influence me to make me better..hehe....
well...today i had an uneventful day in office...hehe..time passed super slow today..wat a day..i practically have to see the time tat everything passes slowly if u keep on looking at the clock...its true ppl...this theory is true...well...today i spent most of my morning talkin to colleagues...well we talked bout food...i dun know y...i am not supposed to talk bout food cos i was super the hungry...but in the end i ended up talkin food..well.i talk so much bout food....from western to eastern..mamak, chicken rice...soto(applied to sabah and maybe sarawak)...everything that came into my mind i talk la..hehe..damn man..even thinking of it makes me hungry now.anyways...finally it hit 12pm..lunch hr..well i went to makan chicken rice cos it has influenced me the whole day..hehe..but the portion was so little...i was disappointed..really thought that it would be nice to eat something finally..but tak cukup..by 2pm..i was hungry already...in the office....i started to appreciate fast food such as mcd's delivery...i kept on wishing to buy mcd delivery...it went on and on until 5pm....den i went home....hehe....well..today i did not do much work..but i still did something...at least i got my jobs done b4 i chat....anyways i am still very d-i-s-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d.....really disappointed......till then cheers..

today life goes on

well..today i had a good day..enjoyed every single moment of it...i went to work today and found tat tons of work waiting for me to finish....well...although i am really busy today..i cant stop the habit of looking at the time...every hr i would begin a count down.hehe...makin myself not concentrating a little bit la...well...its been a kinda fruitful day...get to register cars again....today the customer picked up the car..well..had to go through a thorough check of the car..the procedure requires the sales adviser, engineer and the customer..the sad thing is the car onli can be delivered at 5 pm today....so i kinda eat up time by talking to my boss..hehe..

today is a good day...well i am disappointed too today....well i am really d-i-s-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d...which spoiled my mood till now i write this blog....hai..hope i won be influenced too much by it...wat a sad way to end the day..damn..

life's like tat

well..today i finally had the time to blog a bit...well the week has been boring for me..i was working..i expected to be a little busy..but instead.i am damn free...goodness..i had nothing to do..i ended up playin sms wit frens...books were read and almost through...twice i slept in the office..too tired d...hehe..but anyways i felt that i have learnt some good stuff...well..i am quite happy too...usually i am at the back toiling myself..but this time...i am working in the office...really relaxing myself..hehe..
anyways today i found out bad things bout labuan..i tot it was nice.perfect..but i see also they are no different than kl.i went to aml today...Akademi Memandu Labuan...there to listen to law..cos mom decided tat i start listening to law d..but now le..din get to go to listen today...cos the person there work no system one...i would give them a new name..MAS=mana ada sistem..or AML=akademi mati labuan...i was so disappointed there today..i was a waiting list person...sorry to say..but they should be more systematic....for example putting the list of waiting list down...they did not do it..i jus sat there like an idiot waiting for my turn..really sad lo..i had to keep quiet cos i need to wait..but in the end...i knew tat they are useless ppl...i jus said lets go mom...and i left..i would never return to aml..disappointing place and useless ppl working..they have racist workers..first time i see in labuan got racist..screw AML cos they MAS....

second day

well its my second day in Labuan..my home town...well there are changes already in my house...deng...my room lost 2 posters...2 of y fav posters..gone....babi...metallica and linkin park is gone...i dunno where did it go....but anyways its good to be back la...nothing much changed actually in labuan....onli prices for everything..hehe..had a day doin alot of things..i went here and there..doin stuff to suit myself...i had to register for law lesson..boring...i went through and i failed once..i dun like it...
anyways...i am working tomolo..i will be a temporary staff for premier motor labuan..well i am very excited and i hope to be able go gain experience from it as a sales staff...hee...i gtg sleep..shit its late as always....

why whY WHY!!??

I really wish I could explain it baby (why),
It's just the world is kinda crazy baby (why),
Ain't no pretty way to paint it baby (why),
Don't cry, dry your eyes
September 11th, I woke up about 7am, west coast time, French toast and my
Turkey bacon, taking my time, awakin', turning my TV on
To my surprise, saw what everybody in the world saw
Me & my children, images were chillin'
My son said, "Daddy were there people in that building?"
A cold sweat, frozen with a lump in my chest
I heard his question, couldn't bring my lips to say "Yes" to him
That night at my son's side, he cried & prayed
For the one's who died in the World Trade
His palms to God, seeds and qualms with God
He just kept on pressin' me, wanna know why
Then one week later our bombs were dropped
We seein' them on CNN, they just won't stop
The infrared images of brutal attack
He said, "Daddy now we killin' em back"; (right, right)

[CHORUS - (2x)]

Mmmmm, souls are captured
Dreams are stolen, hearts are broken
Evil blatantly rewarded
Hate surrenders, Love exalted
Hope elated, negativity is shorted
Why is the bomb always getting the last word
& why did her uncle have to molest her
& why did all them cops have to be shootin' to kill
& why did all them priests have to act so ill
Tell me why did James Byrd Jr. have to be touched
Tell me why did Malcolm & Martin depart from us
Tell me why did that sniper make the little boy shoot
& why does human life always denied for loot
Tell me why did Mandela have to live in a cage
Why did my brother Sterling have to die at that age
Tell me why did Reginald Denny deserve his fate
& why the f*@k can't love seem to defeat hate
Tell me why is it so hard for all the children to eat
Why did Pac & Biggie Smalls have to fall in the street
Tell me why did Jam Master Jay have to go that way
Please what am I supposed to say to my kids when they say 'Why?'

[CHORUS - (2x)]

[VERSE 3]
Can't explain it baby, life is just really crazy
I mean if it's world wars or the life of a little baby
We got more stores than they got rice under Buddha lazy
You live four scores & still it be driving you crazy
But for me I try to see the bright side
Sometimes it'd be like the goodness be tryin' to hide
Then try to flee, but it can't it's deep inside
Sweetie, you be the light for the others, make 'em believe in God

well the song above is sung by will smith...this song totally describe how i feel now.

too little too late

its six am in the morning...i jus got back from my long long walk..well i walked to pyramid.took a good look at it..den went to mentari...took a good breakfast and look at some aqua...din talk to them cos they freak me out...den i head back home..on the way i was listening to this song.too little too late..writen and sung by my fav rnb artist..jojo...speaks of something a little too late happening..the story goes like this...there is this guy...tat is wit jojo...well he was suppose to be wit her..but football took up all the time of his life...he did not spend time wit her...most of all he left her hanging.wat the hell..wat a guy...super addicted to football..wow...bein the hero of the team...btw he is a really capable and talented footballer...interesting...well..as i was saying.he was so absorbed to his time and "career" tat he forgotten bout jojo....tats kinda selfish is it??jojo ended up in the house waiting for him to come back..but he did not...instead he gave her a ticket to go watch him play...that game was the final game he is playin..for some cup or something..i dun know...well jojo did not go..instead she stayed at home thinkin bout wat the things he had done...well..to her..he did nothing..all tat was in his mind was all bout his football and him only...sad isn it?in the end...she got really fed up wit him..she decided it was time she pulled the trigger...to leave him..once and for all..time to say goodbye to mr footballer...hehe...well..the story goes..he was in his game..they were trailing 2-1...its his chance to go for it..he passed the last defender...was near the post.the goal keeper is scared..but suddenly..he fell..the keeper could not believe his luck...he picked the ball easily..the moment the ball was picked up....the whistle blew...the guy could not believed tat wat has happened..and he went back sadly..sad to say..there is a note on the table...tat jojo has left him..he wanted to go back to her.but it was too little too late..she has made her decision to leave him and she will not come back....well..its too little too late for the guy..sorry mate ur jus a little too late in realizing wat u have done..best wishes to u in future...

exam

i am havin exams now...bolloks...damn papers so hard....damn curtin for puttin them so tough....wanna pass also hard..celaka betul..wats the use of havin exam la..babi..exam here and there in the end also forgot..if remember so wat..come out to work not gonna use all of them also..dumb things...y cant jus give us assignment to help us pass...puik u all man...babi..i hate all the exams..if u make it simpler good la..this so hard..read also not understand.how la like tat...siao one..u expect to have all the smart ppl is it..wat bout us??u think we heng ka ah??everytime make me stress onli...until sometimes cannot sleep...because of exam la..

stress release??

well..its 5.42 in the morning...oh my goodness..the loudspeaker is singing already..and i am not asleep yet...damn damn damn....sienz man..super the kao..well..i haven been blogging for a while..cos busy wit alot of stuff..cant seem to find the time to blog...not i shall blog..see how long it takes me...well i shall blog bout my life first...first thing first...i am freakin stressssssss....i tried not to be..but i cant seemed to tahan..well...i cant sleep because i am stressed....stressed....damn...1 hr ago i went to look for sunshine...suddenly my mind popped up stupid melody and i sang wit it...with stupid melody comes stupid lyrics...i kept singing all the nonsense out....we laughed and laughed...so wats the point..the stress feeling does not go away..so i had to go to plan b..plan be le...is to play bass..play play play...slap slap slap..until finger pain...arm pain...not satisfied..still feelin down....plan c...drink water...haha..does it work>>>???seriously no!!make u stress bout goin to toliet onli...haiz...these damn feelings won go away..the freaking exam is around the corner...scary but true..i still have no mood to study....i dun wan last min..but still...i think will end up last min..well..on to plan d..watch comedy...nah..it does not help...instead of getting happier...i felt more bored...well...this is serious things...i cannot be happy again??oh no,..not now..(pray pray pray...easier said then done)...hai...so i decided to listen to music...went for the heavy ones...went to look for metallica,demon hunter....they do not give me the satisfaction....wat is this....even music cant satisfy me...especially my fav metal band...sienz...wat la this feeling...keep on pressing the heart down...i dunno..i still asking...i still seeking...dunno if will find it or not....AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!i always wanted to scream..but no voice cos down wit sore throat..so onli can scream in this blog....sighing also does not do the job...hai....how can i release it????????

everlasting God/ a precious lesson learned

today i had practice...well..i was kinda hoping that everything will go smooth...on fire when i was in church..but...when everything started...the problems started to rise from point a to point b...from the front to the end..i dunno how to explain..but basically all 4 musicians cant work together..i hid my frustration and prayed tat god will give me strength, humility, and sensitivity...instead of getting the things...it got worse...so i decided that its normal..but it den got worse in the third song..everything is really messed up..i cant point out wat i was playing..for the first time...i feel like i was forcing myself to play instead of playing willingly and humbly for Him...it was a struggle..but i have to hold on..

after practice..i was told tat u were sick...i got worried sick..i was so worried tat i could not think what to eat...i went to lai kong and could not choose wat to eat...i decided to choose penang fried Kuey tiao....and later on i added Siew Mai...but no appetite to eat..so i jus stuffed everything down and drank my teh nga lat...at tat time gracy got fed up wit me bein so quiet and sad and she told me to dun think things in front of ppl..its rude and will influence everyone..i thank the lord for her cos she decided to say it out..though she apologised to me..its nothing..i shall learn to smile in times of sadness..thank you gracy..u are a good fren

God touches ppl and teaches in many ways...i am actually experiencing it now...i feel this tremendous heat now..while writing this blog..God put in my heart the song Everlasting God(this song is supposed to be played this Sunday)....this song is sang in a lincon bewster style..here is the link....(http://youtube.com/watch?v=jP2nz6PG8KM)...looks like i know the reason y everything was so messed up..we need wait upon the lord to gain strength...looks like i was using my own strength...instead to put everything in him...i used my own strength...how silly of me...dear lord i am silly not to put faith in u for strength...and i am sorry...u are my strength..and i will put my faith in u..(u have changed me again)

i told her everything..and she told me to cheer up..and affirmed me tat everything happens for a reason...i am glad that u are there..and i am grateful...she has been there..when i need her..i am happy..and i thank god for her everyday...most of all i have learnt a lesson..a precious lesson...

alpha

yesterday was the first day of alpha...well..the alpha starts at 7..hehe..but i went there at 2pm..was on a assignment..well..this was to wash chairs...well..everyone thinks washin chairs was easy..hehe..i too thought the same...mana eh zai...it was break breaking work...well there were 6 of us..me, victor lee,chong hing,jackson,timothy lim and one more i terforgot (very bad of me..but i tried to remember the name)..well the back breaking work begins when we had to pull out all the chairs...so..i think there were about 50-60 chairs....some black ones, green ones, red ones, blue ones..so its kinda hard cos we had to take down each one..and the chairs are stacked up high.hehe...we "toiled" and ''toiled'' and the leader went out for lunch..(ayam kao des)..hehe..well i din care.i was looking at the bigger pic...to serve the ppl comin to alpha at 7 pm..hehe..

we finished at bout 3++....which included washin wiping and putin the chairs under the sun to dry..thank god des brought us something cold to drink..shandy..my fav..hehe...i decided it was not cold enough and added ice...it was really refreshing..haha...we relaxed..chat and make stupid jokes...den we arranged the chairs..des wanted to go with the "airbus" theory (meaning that 5 chairs are put into a row and another 5 chairs put behind the 5 rows..jus like in aeroplane)..den someone else decided that facing each other while eating is better cos can have fellowship..hehe..anyways we went ahead wit the face each other theory...and job completed..

i too a shower in church and den got ready for practice..cos were singing songs..prac was ok..den had dinner...i had the privilege of eating first cos i was servin..hehe..but anyways i ate second round of fruits..hehe..i had dew (honey dew btw..but it was so tasteless i decide to classify it as dew cos no honey in it)..den worship came..i was exhausted but i enjoyed playin.den des said had to move chairs...time to work again....well.i did my part and was even exhausted...hehe..

decided to rest while the small group thingy was goin on...well its a place where ppl can ask any question they like..anything..and ppl will try their best to answer..anyways...i was also looking at new comers..there are quite a no of new frens..i got to know some of them..Jane,OJ,Rick..and few more i forgotten their name..i gotta do better this week to know their names...hehe....besides tat..i got to spend time wit close frens..and we talked alot...so we got to know each other more..and i appreciated it alot...

alpha is something really interesting...there is free food..good environment..singing...relaxing..supper...and many new frens u can get to know..i enjoyed myself the first week...and i look forward to the second week..

i see u

today is Saturday...haha..a day of rest...hehe...woke up in the morning and went for jamming....well had a good time..working on the new song tat one of my fren composed..hehe.i think jus a little more and the song is completed...good...

after tat i went back...decided to relax while playin sms..hehe..but half way tersleep...sleep until gracy woke me up at 3.20...omg..its time for church practice...i totally slept in man..din know bout time...haha...well..so i rushed a bit..decided to skip shower..cos later sing in church sure sweat one...so i decided to comb hair...den when i was about to put the rubber on my hair...gabriel called..gtg di...so jus put den go church.hehe....in church i lepak..cos i not servin..jus relaxin..den went out to pick victor...at the whole time...was playin sms..hehe..talkin on sms keeps me goin..every now and then..really happy and relaxing....well..i had a good time talking to vic on the car...joked and play the fool...den we went to pick up Timothn Seng..he will be pastor soon..and i really respect him..hehe...he is a good guy..interesting and nice to hang out wit..

had service at nite..had a good time wit everything..when service was starting..i saw u coming in...u look like an angel coming in to church..i could not stop looking at u..but had to concentrate on service and i decided to honor god wit it..after service...i wanted to talk to u.but i saw u bz...so i onli can look at the little angel talking to someone..i onli had the chance to poke u and say hi...after that the angel is talkin to other frens...hehe....so i can onli see from a far...when i wanna talk to u.to say how pretty are you tonite but i did not have the chance cos (btw i could not stop lookin at u..haha...u really look like an angel today) u had to leave...at the same time i had to eat dinner cos have to go for prac for alpha course.so i waved goodbye and i gobbled the dinner...

practice was ok..had the angel on my mind all the time.hehe...second thing is akuma also i keep on thinking...for ur info akuma is the spider i am taking care at the moment for aaron..hehe..i really like it..facinated by it..hehe.well i took it den i went back home.but before tat i hanged out wit aaron and ivan...as always..hehe...i enjoyed my day..

i write ur name in the sky and the wind blew it away
i write ur name on sand and the waves washed it away
i write ur name in my heart..forever it will remain...forever

today

wats wit today??hmm....well i woke up at 10 today..class starting in 1 hr more..dang..1 hr still long..still got half and hour to chill...i decided to ko balik...slept but not nice..cos keep on wakin up...like5 min to 10 min like tat wake up one time...hehe...but janji tido..hehe...

decided to wake up already once it hit 10.25...well sunshine waiting me downstairs..cos we planned to go class together today...i wasn in the mood to go class...but i forced myself onli..well...when reached the bus stop..sunshine decided to tempt me..i dunno he did it on purpose or jus to tease me...anyways...he did..but he failed...i really have to go class..for my "own good"....hehe...guess wat..i was late..as usual.cos hero usually come last min..but i wasn last min la...still like in the early stages one....well law 245 today...final chapter...guess wat...i went in at 11.20..class ended at 12.20...dang i wan in class for onli an hr...crazy man....class suppose to be 2 hrs..but i onli 1 hr..today the lecturer caught some monkey fishing...he wants to fish and he sits in the front row...man it really is funny..the whole class laughed at the feller....well i found it funny too..well me..din sleep..i was busy listening and talking at the same time...i killed 2 birds wit one stone...

after class went to find sunshine..he was wit his inti gang and i joined in...well i basically know them la...we had lunch together...after tat..itchy hand had to play dota...so we were invited to play...i was suppose to go cut hair..but sunshine asked me to play..so go la...we played hell of a game...it was exciting and funny...we lost..but we had a good game...been laughin all the way....there were few times tat i screw up.but still ok la...managed to play ok la..i guess...

after tat cut hair...den i finished d baliked..first thing i did was basu baju..kutur dah tu baju...after tat decided to write blog...here am i..my day not up yet..but...i will continue to plan wat to do tonite..futsal canceled already...wat to do..stupid ppl dunno how to write our names...hai..today was ok except one thing....IT IS FREAKING HOT!!!!Y CANT IT RAIN....ITS HOT!!!peace

finally...

finally i am able to go online...hehe...cos the internet took two weeks to be done...anyways..all these while i been busy..busy playing and busy working..but the sweetest thing of all...hehe...is...hehe....well..its good la..i am finally getting back to myself...cos was down..really down.not many ppl know..due to some reasons...but thank God everything went well...now i am almost back to 100% happy already...i still lack of 40%...well the 40% comes from....well..depends la...how would i do lo..hehe...i still waiting....hehe...well life is certainly improving now...i found myself smiling more and more...which is great....anyways....that is all i got for now...till then ..peace

ceramah-another 2 days spoiled.

well lets define ceramah...ceramah is a malay word used in malaysia and indonesia...hehe...in english is a speech...well ppl usually give speech on special occation..wheather its a annual dinner, opening ceremony...hehe...

well y i say all these is because i got a speech yesterday..well the speech first line is sorry...after tat i decided not to read it already...y would i read it???well guess who sent me the speech??not dr..dr won send me one cos he dunno one...well is the other person....the one i mentioned in the early blog..starting from the 4th paragraph starting "sat"...well..let me say one thing...no one listen to speech one...if the person listen to speech...the feller got problem one...so i dun wanna be the problem person..so i not readin ur speech.....so bein a non problem feller...i jus read the first sentence and X the whole chatbox.cos at least have to listen a bit when feller giving speech..so i read a bit...

so i got sien..decided to go out...went for lunch wit grandma danny and gracy..i had a good lunch..good time relaxin with the three of them...den when i come back...the second speech came in...mashya-allah...second speech?!!!!???kee siao ah??even pak lah onli speech one time la...u 2x??u better than pak la is it???sorry la..the moment i see is ur speech..i X u know??X!!!!its not worth readin ur speech...i cant accept the thing.....i have never seen a person like u in my life..and i dun intend to do so..yet....unless u really changed...and i can freakin..get it right...FREAKIN accept u as a fren again...now...sorry la...i dun think u even existed....

another day spoiled...suppose to be my hols...and u spoil 2 days...well tues...i went out to lunch..wit grandma ivan donald aaron gracy....manatau u came along...sienzzzz...so luckily i delevoped pretend u not there attitude...i jus pretend u not there....everything went on well..i dun care u and luckily u know how to zap sang...u din care me...so had lunch...den walk around...den i had to check up some stuff cos goin to genting...i so look forward to tat trip...till i forgotten tat u there...mana tau when we were checkin stuff to drink..u came and talk to me..say i drink wat...terus potong steam..like one big axe potong it...hilang dah satu...sien...hhaha....well..tats not it...den at nite u came and drink alcohol wit us...think u so steady ah??drink drink...say not enough...dun drink like goldfish la...deng....think u so on ah?padahal u getting wank(means high)..still wanna drink..summore wanna drink absine...u wan wat?wank not good already ah??wanna get halusinate ah??later u jump out of the building who gonna stop u?god ah?dun test god la..u wanna get high...do it at home la...

well....jus conclude it man..in a nutshell...i still cannot believe that u disrespect ppl tat day..i tot u changed last time..well gueess i am wrong..well just tell u la...i still cannot accept the things u did..and basically i cannot accept u...unless u show me u really changed..den i shall accept u..or else sorry la..cos i am deeply disappointed and sadly to say pissed still....u know who are u..so change urself....

things in this week

well lets start off with Monday....well i decided to start my day on sunday to do my work...i really had a bad day on sunday....i did not like every min of it..and all of it sucks..i got really sick of it...damn it man...well...the day was tiring...din sleep on sun nite...doin the assignment..well monday came...i had a day of work..dull....worked like mad..den i decided to take a break...overslept..damn again...

had to work at nite..well i din mind...so i did my work until the next day 10am...i finished my assignment....well i think i did ok....den went to consult my lecturer on tues to see my proposal can not...den rejected..mon also rejected...2x in a week..had to redo in a nite...damn man what is this..i had to have a meeting on the net..dude...this is crazy....not to mention tat, i was too tired and missed my class on wed....den have to meet the lecturer to check out my proposal...mashya-allah..she rejected again...den this time out of desperation i had to copy a little from past year..(plagiarism)..but it was approved....are u sure this can ah??den after sent to curtin..den it was approved...thank god...that was thursday....at least i got something to be happy about...den friday..i had a day relaxing...hehe..

but the day was spoiled when i found out tat u are really a useless guy...u eat shit sleep go out and come back for 3 whole months and do not find house knowin that we wanna move out..furthermore u are the one that wanna move out at first..now you are saying that u wanna move in my place wit me...sorry...piss off...your attitude for wanting to not take responsibility really pisses me off...you are much more older den me and u do not even take bit of responsibility to get a job and earn your own income...u did not even finish ur degree??ppl at ur age are married, have a steady job and income...and u wait for manna to drop from heaven?take bit of responsibility..i wish to wack u tat nite when u talk bout responsibility....summo u wanna claim the utility fees...and u say these things are arguable??comon man..u really suck wat kinda thing is that??your theory?paloi nya kao ni!!!goblok!...let me tell u...if i had the chance..i really wack u..until now i still wanna wack u...i am so fed up wit u and ur attitude..i hope i wont work with u...and do not approach me...i won..until i die also i won approach u for help.....secondly..u use my things like nothing..bugger.u have money to spend on watchin movie..belanja ppl eat pizza..cant buy shampo and soap ah??asshole i took ur soap and shampoo bottle also nothing in it...and my bar of soap got thinner so fast..suppose to last 2 months and now already wanna finish...i so feel like muster bating into my shampoo (which U also used without my permission) so that u use and feel wierd..but i am not like tat...screw u and piss off ass-wipe...

sat...another great day spoiled...u come and u spoil my day..i was supposed to have a great day...really..cos my ex gf (ming kee) is comin to church..i was so surprised and happy....although i did say if she appear den i shall belanja her...well she did appear and i belanja her drink...hehe..and ken too...thanks for bringin her..but u?u think u very the big ah??came here and created a havoc out of it..worst of all u piss me of by not respecting people..which i paling pantang one..until now i still mad at u...and no mood to talk to u..so dun think of talkin to me..and i also won look at u...u spoiled my dinner and my time wit my grandma..sumore she is leavin for good....kureng kao...

sun..ok la the day....except have to see u again cos lunch u wanna come...piss off la u....and at nite see u cos u are usher...wat kind....i din know u will take "responsibility"...screw me sideways..but i have to ask...u know how to take responsibility after 3 months of eat shit sleep and not findin work and a new place to stay?I AM SURPRISED ASS-WIPE!!FREAKIN SURPRISED!!that is all that happen....wat a week...

dear mom...

today i was resting at home around 4+...cos i din sleep last nite..den i decided to go home right after lunch to rest...but ended up doin assignments..which i was proud of la..but anyways i had to rest..cos machine overloading...so i sleep la...den i was waken up by my ringtone..i tot was an alarm..but so ngam i took a look at it...den i found out tat it was the home calling...so i decided to pick up...it was mom...gladness swept me cos we did not communicate for a long time..din talk on the phone really long..the time we talk on the phone was on jan..besides tat is all bout talking business..never catch up...and she never calls me since then..i had to call back sometimes when i needed something...it was really wierd..something was not right...the way i feel...when my mom don call..something is not right...is either i did something wrong or she is hiding something from me...

although she called me tat afternoon...we did not catch up wit each other...she jus asked me about my reload card ting...that time i sense tat she sound different...she sounded grave instead of cheerful....i knew somethin was not right....i start to think..thinkin at a fast rate brings u far...very very far..i dunno where i went...but i knew it was not my mistake cos the tone that she uses was not the angry or pissed off tone..its a sad tone...i knew something is happening to the family....on the phone she told me tat she went for a body check up...den doc found that there is something not rite...she has to go for a scanning.she is goin to kk on wednesday for scanning (jus in case u are wondering what's wrong..its a private thing..she told me what it is..but i decided not to disclose here...u can find me if u wanna know what's wrong..i won't mind telling u if u are sincere)..

this thing gripped me...cos wat i was told..the thing might be deadly..u know..things growin in the body which is never there before may be deadly...i have already think until very far...until dunno where la...gets me worried like mad....i dunno wat to do besides praying and waiting..i am still not ready to let my mom go back up yet..she need to see me graduate,marry and see her grandchildren before i would let her go.there are lots of things i still haven ask for her forgiveness yet...but...decision is not mine....it belongs to HIM...what can i say besides saying Aharen loabi ve mom???


mom said that i need to claim psalms 91....here it is:

Psalms 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. ^[a]

2 I will say ^[b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

here i have claimed it already..go in peace to kk mom...i will be waitin for the news...hope it won be deadly...i dun wan it to be like "tai yee" and "yi yi"....will be prayin for u and will be waiting for the news...Aharen loabi ve mom...

stupid

i been thinking alot....especially today..summore last nite din sleep (again??dude u are a hero)...later never enough sleep...yea today just sleep like 2-3 hrs....consider an afternoon nap after not sleeping...so now le...i am wide awake...although i had a skol...damn man its refereshin....

the things i am thinkin....this was wat happen to me last nite when i was thinkin...suddenly my heart start to speak..i dun believe it but the shit happen:

dude cant u think properly???why in the world are u so obliging??cant u think twice before makin a decision???you have made everyone hard because u cant make a decision....put ppl into places where they don't want to..cause them to suffer...i know u dun mind sufferin..but cant u think bout other ppl??you are so freakin selfish...damn man...dont u wanna see ppl happy??i thought tats wat u like to see..but u don make them happy...u drag them down instead....makin their life hard...com on man think!

secondly are u blind??u look like one...u are one who does not know the direction of his life...comon man..u are 22 this year and u dunno wat u wan in life???u wanna waste your life ah??wat the hell....ppl start workin lo..cant u see??u still studyin..den u think u have the future wit u...u think u can see future???u kie siao one...onli God can see future...if u can see..u are god la...bodoh...summore u blindly go do alot of things....things that hurt ppl...cant u see ppl got feel also??y keep forcing??u think ppl like kena force??sialan...dude feel man....open the damn eyes...stop pretending being a pretender....u are not blind and pretend to be one..tats y u become blind...really blind...until insensitive to pll's feelings...i would call u the rich fool!!!

OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess its worth to be scolded by myself...i am an idiot....damn...

what am i doin

its 5am in the morning and i am not sleeping yet...cant sleep..summore i have to serve later in church..playing for service...guess i won be sleeping...cant sleep so wat the hell....i decided to open some stuff to watch....after opening..i decided tat i should laugh a bit...so i opened youtube to look at some pranks...there is this japanese prank is so funny...dude just type japanese pranks and u can see it all..all so funny...i cant stop laughin....man its good to laugh...haven been laughin like tat...i laugh until no sound come out...hehe....well i wanted to load the video but i cant...here would be a list of websites to show u the pranks the japanese did...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=R-jG3Vd9FYE

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bQtPZIqeZ3o&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akgTcX1mqzc&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=k9JwRg7mQ9Q&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WU-ZTuLlLMQ&feature=related

there are more at other places...just like www.justforlaughts.com..many things tat we would never think of they made it up and have a good laugh...watch it...have a good laugh and leave me the comments.thanks...enjoy..