Thursday, April 24, 2008
well y i say all these is because i got a speech yesterday..well the speech first line is sorry...after tat i decided not to read it already...y would i read it???well guess who sent me the speech??not dr..dr won send me one cos he dunno one...well is the other person....the one i mentioned in the early blog..starting from the 4th paragraph starting "sat"...well..let me say one thing...no one listen to speech one...if the person listen to speech...the feller got problem one...so i dun wanna be the problem person..so i not readin ur speech.....so bein a non problem feller...i jus read the first sentence and X the whole chatbox.cos at least have to listen a bit when feller giving speech..so i read a bit...
so i got sien..decided to go out...went for lunch wit grandma danny and gracy..i had a good lunch..good time relaxin with the three of them...den when i come back...the second speech came in...mashya-allah...second speech?!!!!???kee siao ah??even pak lah onli speech one time la...u 2x??u better than pak la is it???sorry la..the moment i see is ur speech..i X u know??X!!!!its not worth readin ur speech...i cant accept the thing.....i have never seen a person like u in my life..and i dun intend to do so..yet....unless u really changed...and i can freakin..get it right...FREAKIN accept u as a fren again...now...sorry la...i dun think u even existed....
another day spoiled...suppose to be my hols...and u spoil 2 days...well tues...i went out to lunch..wit grandma ivan donald aaron gracy....manatau u came along...sienzzzz...so luckily i delevoped pretend u not there attitude...i jus pretend u not there....everything went on well..i dun care u and luckily u know how to zap sang...u din care me...so had lunch...den walk around...den i had to check up some stuff cos goin to genting...i so look forward to tat trip...till i forgotten tat u there...mana tau when we were checkin stuff to drink..u came and talk to me..say i drink wat...terus potong steam..like one big axe potong it...hilang dah satu...sien...hhaha....well..tats not it...den at nite u came and drink alcohol wit us...think u so steady ah??drink drink...say not enough...dun drink like goldfish la...deng....think u so on ah?padahal u getting wank(means high)..still wanna drink..summore wanna drink absine...u wan wat?wank not good already ah??wanna get halusinate ah??later u jump out of the building who gonna stop u?god ah?dun test god la..u wanna get high...do it at home la...
well....jus conclude it man..in a nutshell...i still cannot believe that u disrespect ppl tat day..i tot u changed last time..well gueess i am wrong..well just tell u la...i still cannot accept the things u did..and basically i cannot accept u...unless u show me u really changed..den i shall accept u..or else sorry la..cos i am deeply disappointed and sadly to say pissed still....u know who are u..so change urself....
Sunday, April 20, 2008
had to work at nite..well i din mind...so i did my work until the next day 10am...i finished my assignment....well i think i did ok....den went to consult my lecturer on tues to see my proposal can not...den rejected..mon also rejected...2x in a week..had to redo in a nite...damn man what is this..i had to have a meeting on the net..dude...this is crazy....not to mention tat, i was too tired and missed my class on wed....den have to meet the lecturer to check out my proposal...mashya-allah..she rejected again...den this time out of desperation i had to copy a little from past year..(plagiarism)..but it was approved....are u sure this can ah??den after sent to curtin..den it was approved...thank god...that was thursday....at least i got something to be happy about...den friday..i had a day relaxing...hehe..
but the day was spoiled when i found out tat u are really a useless guy...u eat shit sleep go out and come back for 3 whole months and do not find house knowin that we wanna move out..furthermore u are the one that wanna move out at first..now you are saying that u wanna move in my place wit me...sorry...piss off...your attitude for wanting to not take responsibility really pisses me off...you are much more older den me and u do not even take bit of responsibility to get a job and earn your own income...u did not even finish ur degree??ppl at ur age are married, have a steady job and income...and u wait for manna to drop from heaven?take bit of responsibility..i wish to wack u tat nite when u talk bout responsibility....summo u wanna claim the utility fees...and u say these things are arguable??comon man..u really suck wat kinda thing is that??your theory?paloi nya kao ni!!!goblok!...let me tell u...if i had the chance..i really wack u..until now i still wanna wack u...i am so fed up wit u and ur attitude..i hope i wont work with u...and do not approach me...i won..until i die also i won approach u for help.....secondly..u use my things like nothing..bugger.u have money to spend on watchin movie..belanja ppl eat pizza..cant buy shampo and soap ah??asshole i took ur soap and shampoo bottle also nothing in it...and my bar of soap got thinner so fast..suppose to last 2 months and now already wanna finish...i so feel like muster bating into my shampoo (which U also used without my permission) so that u use and feel wierd..but i am not like tat...screw u and piss off ass-wipe...
sat...another great day spoiled...u come and u spoil my day..i was supposed to have a great day...really..cos my ex gf (ming kee) is comin to church..i was so surprised and happy....although i did say if she appear den i shall belanja her...well she did appear and i belanja her drink...hehe..and ken too...thanks for bringin her..but u?u think u very the big ah??came here and created a havoc out of it..worst of all u piss me of by not respecting people..which i paling pantang one..until now i still mad at u...and no mood to talk to u..so dun think of talkin to me..and i also won look at u...u spoiled my dinner and my time wit my grandma..sumore she is leavin for good....kureng kao...
sun..ok la the day....except have to see u again cos lunch u wanna come...piss off la u....and at nite see u cos u are usher...wat kind....i din know u will take "responsibility"...screw me sideways..but i have to ask...u know how to take responsibility after 3 months of eat shit sleep and not findin work and a new place to stay?I AM SURPRISED ASS-WIPE!!FREAKIN SURPRISED!!that is all that happen....wat a week...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
although she called me tat afternoon...we did not catch up wit each other...she jus asked me about my reload card ting...that time i sense tat she sound different...she sounded grave instead of cheerful....i knew somethin was not right....i start to think..thinkin at a fast rate brings u far...very very far..i dunno where i went...but i knew it was not my mistake cos the tone that she uses was not the angry or pissed off tone..its a sad tone...i knew something is happening to the family....on the phone she told me tat she went for a body check up...den doc found that there is something not rite...she has to go for a scanning.she is goin to kk on wednesday for scanning (jus in case u are wondering what's wrong..its a private thing..she told me what it is..but i decided not to disclose here...u can find me if u wanna know what's wrong..i won't mind telling u if u are sincere)..
this thing gripped me...cos wat i was told..the thing might be deadly..u know..things growin in the body which is never there before may be deadly...i have already think until very far...until dunno where la...gets me worried like mad....i dunno wat to do besides praying and waiting..i am still not ready to let my mom go back up yet..she need to see me graduate,marry and see her grandchildren before i would let her go.there are lots of things i still haven ask for her forgiveness yet...but...decision is not mine....it belongs to HIM...what can i say besides saying Aharen loabi ve mom???
mom said that i need to claim psalms 91....here it is:
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]
2 I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
the things i am thinkin....this was wat happen to me last nite when i was thinkin...suddenly my heart start to speak..i dun believe it but the shit happen:
dude cant u think properly???why in the world are u so obliging??cant u think twice before makin a decision???you have made everyone hard because u cant make a decision....put ppl into places where they don't want to..cause them to suffer...i know u dun mind sufferin..but cant u think bout other ppl??you are so freakin selfish...damn man...dont u wanna see ppl happy??i thought tats wat u like to see..but u don make them happy...u drag them down instead....makin their life hard...com on man think!
secondly are u blind??u look like one...u are one who does not know the direction of his life...comon man..u are 22 this year and u dunno wat u wan in life???u wanna waste your life ah??wat the hell....ppl start workin lo..cant u see??u still studyin..den u think u have the future wit u...u think u can see future???u kie siao one...onli God can see future...if u can see..u are god la...bodoh...summore u blindly go do alot of things....things that hurt ppl...cant u see ppl got feel also??y keep forcing??u think ppl like kena force??sialan...dude feel man....open the damn eyes...stop pretending being a pretender....u are not blind and pretend to be one..tats y u become blind...really blind...until insensitive to pll's feelings...i would call u the rich fool!!!
OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess its worth to be scolded by myself...i am an idiot....damn...
there are more at other places...just like www.justforlaughts.com..many things tat we would never think of they made it up and have a good laugh...watch it...have a good laugh and leave me the comments.thanks...enjoy..
Thursday, April 10, 2008
when i was stressin and all..u came and talk to me...start tellin me stuff....and started to chat with me on the internet...on msn....i was so busy tat time...stressin my self and gonna blow up soon..but when u start to talk to me...u kept me relaxed..help me to do my work..and i got focused on my assingment....talkin to u was fun too...although tat time i did not disturb u as u were stress up bout something...talkin to u got me goin..hehe...also u encouraged me so much....when i was down...u were there...when i was depressed...u were there...when i cant move myself..u were there.....u were there to share half my problems...help me to live on...many times i wanna give up because i was so fed up..but u were there....helpin me...though sometimes i dun know....u were there helpin me..
i have never met someone like u (besides my best friends). you are so helpful.....some more say that u will always be there to help cheer me up...this is something that shocked me so much and encouraged me....u really made my day tat day when u told me....i got encouraged...cos my last encouragement was dunno like how long ago...for all u done to me...i wanna thank you....i won say your name....you know who are you....thanks for everything...
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
now back to the topic..i was called blinded by my fren....said tat i am blinded cos i cant see..my good fren here say that i am not physically blinded...but mentally(i think)...cos we talked bout some serious shit tat 2 days ago..this kind fren of mine rebuked me..told me tat i am blinded....
am i really blinded mentally?my this fren is right..i cant see properly(mentally)....every step now is like tryin to walk in pitch dark..cant see anything...i feel it..strongly...will i be blind forever??