IN U I TRUST

I am tired
trying to face the problem by myself
i get to no where
but in U i get places.

I thought i am strong
but i am just a weakling
But in U i am strong again
able to lift things i never thought i would be able to lift

I am broken,
U were broken
I cant be fixed
But U can be fixed, and U fix me as well

I thought i had it all
But in truth I had nothing at all
U had it all
But given it all up jus to reach me

I thought I have people
But they all deserted me (like the prodigal son)
U were there for me.
and i was blind enough not to see You.

I was alone,
but u were there.
Not to realize tat U were alone on tat tree
Even Your DAD left u alone.

I spat at u.
cursed at you
But u never hate me for it.
Instead loving me even more for it.

I thought the pain is forever with me.
However U have already taken it away
On that fateful day
when U were hanging on the tree.

Finally i realize,
That I have always need You
I am dying inside
Only U can revive me.

I need YOUR STRENGTH,
YOUR LOVE AND POWER
because without it
i cant find the next step.

JESUS.....i really need u now..i cant bear to go through this all alone...it hurts. some people may understand but some may not, only U know all tat is happening with me..carry me through like a little child...only in U i can find my comfort again.

Philippians 4:13. I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength.

BULLSHIT

love is patient
love is kind
love is BULLSHIT
and i believe it

ps:i dun believe that love exist in this stupid world. Those who got married were destined to...

Screw u

Freaking hate it when ppl dun talk to me..even pretend tat I am not around..pass by me and think that I am not there..u know wat..screw u u stupid freaking cun

update after a long time

well finally i can update my blog...thanks to a mate of mine who so generously lend me his lappy..my lappy is racist..onli online to malaysian line....wat the heck...hehe

so i shall begin wit my hols...well hols was BBOORRIINNGGG...i sleep onli when i wanna sleep, eat when i feel like eating and go when i have to go..its so bad..cos i was really unproductive at all...tired finding work...guess wat..thanks to the economy..i cant..even mcd is hiring kids at age of 12...rather dun hire us..cheaper...puik

of course wit that type of bad lifestyle i am having...i of course fell sick...hehe...it had to come....so i had the full package...told dad and dad tricked me tat it was swine flu...babi..hehe..but it wasnt..

changed cell..now same cell wit leon..new cell leader whos a nice person..have to listen to her..but at the same time....can tembak her..hehe..too good to be true....

finally sem started....i din wanna go to uni..but at the same time i still dun stay at home because of the boredness...but still have to go...dunno wat am i babbling about..hehe...but anyways...perth is still a good place to relax..super nice..even frens tat came over for hols dun wanna go back...say here good..haha..

ps:manusia bin orang misses everyone he knows in malaysia.hehe...gonna hope i can go back to malaysia someday...tats all for now..

(next blog will be all pictures of perth)

holidays!!

finally its holidays...could not believe that it came so fast...2 weeks was complaining to Joe and Winnie about exams and all...had to study like mad..this sucks...especially when there is a weight on ur head...its like going to the gallows...the onli thing is u get to live after being hanged for at least 2 hrs..some might go through 3 hrs of hanging...hehe...

well gotta say good bye to kenneth..hehe..this guy is one of the "insane" person i met in perth....well we did alot of crazy things...and he made me do even more crazy things this year...well there is one i would share...called sniffing..."sniffing" does not mean drugs...it means...sniffing alcohol...haha..its crazy...it hits ur head like a bomb..and feel a sharp pain at the end of the head..but anyways..dun try tis at home unless u have frens with u..haha...well he left on the second day of my exam..and i wish him all the best too in penang..and his gf too..intresting funny girl which match his personality..all the best for the 2 of u.

well i am maroooonnneeeddd in perth...most of my malaysian frens goin back..heee..btw they would enjoy their hometown...i would too...here in perth there are things to do too..its not too boring like ppl say..well..still can la..find work and earn bit aussie dollars...den i shall save and bring it back to malaysia...which in the end..makes me 2x richer..hehe..i am out of my mind...hehe.

well one of the things i would like to do is to spend time in borders...that is a cool place where i can read books...cant wait for Matthew Reilly's new book to come out..i have been waiting for that for dunno how long...onli God knows...haha...

this sat gonna have steam boat..hehe...i am gonna go mad preparing the food for my frens...since cold..it would be good to have a warm dinner...guess tat would be good...after that sure watch korean movies...since i got to perth...i have not stop watching korean movies...i think i am gonna get addicted or already addicted to korean movies...hehee..its so hilarous...

oh ya..i have not posted any pictures for this blog from perth...hai..i wish to post one..but...i no camera..hehe..that would be the next thing that i buy after my sunglasses...which cost me $240....that is like 2 and 1/2 weeks of allowance..but the camera will take me ages to save..it cost $4k..insane rite??well thanks to Raph..who is one like my 2nd grandma...slow slow one..and he studies flim..told me that..to get good pics u need good camera...yea...time to access my shopping list....

0.iphone-done
1 Kevin Garnet-Done
2.Nike Air Jordan Air force one-done
3.Matthew Reily-tat one haven come out yet
4.Oakley sunglasses-pending
5.Camera-pending
6.archsaber 10-done

looks like still got three things i haven get yet..maybe i shall get it or not...hehe..see how la..hehe..sorry for talking so much..its time to update..too long i din update already..hehe..talk to y'all later..cheers mate...

sakit hati...

i got this racket called archsaber 7...its a badminton racket actually...have been eyeing that racket since i got to australia...it costs 305 aussie dollars..so have been saving up for it for 3 months....there were 2 left...so i was hoping tat i would get it.

on sat i saw that there is only one left....quickly i knew i had to get this racket..sonce i have saved enough..i went to buy the racket...after getting the racket, i went home wit it..so happy tat i got one nice racket..

when admiring the beauty of it..i found out that there is a chip on it...the paint has came off....i am like damn...sakit hati...i went back today to habe a look at wat the people they can do..the person actually asked me if i wanted a refund...y would i want a refund since i loved this racket the moment i held it...they cant change it for me.cos it was the last one..kowing tat i am a bit fussy but trust me..if u pay up to rm700/300 aussie dollars..it hurts..so they asked me to go to another store..so i went..and found out tat other store did not sell at all...

went back to the same store..believe me...the workers here are helpful and kind...so i asked them if they can order one for me..the manager told me that they actually get stock based on the order from the central company..so they cant order one fore me..in the end i had no choice but to get back a refund..

before i had to sign my things...i had one last look at the racket..it look like it was pleading with me not to let it go back to the store..but i have made my decision..had to let it go..left the store wit a heavy heart...its like i lost something valuable..i was a proud owner of a new archsaber racket but in the end i din own anything...sakit hati la....

life in perth..

well....i have not been telling everyone about my life in perth yet....well..its time to tell abit here and there of my life in perth.

1.go to curtin uni...its a must cos i have to go to class...
2.hang out at all nite pizza cafe..well its a low class pizza cafe...where there is football...pizza is cheap and nice...kebabs there are great.hehe...everyone comes here to nyam cha....watch football.
3.go carousel...there is the onli shopping center near my place...it takes a bus ride for 15 min..therefore i seldom go..but its nice...super big...so have to walk alot...bt not as big as the ones in kl...the malls there are hugonomous..but here is onli big.
4. goin to city...well there got more things to do..to walk around..to look around..."cuci mata" also can...cos more hot chicks there from other parts of perth.(cant believe curtin dun have)
5. go to north bridge. there is the "sin city" of perth..everything is there...wat u think is there..but food and bubble tea there is the best in perth...
6. go to murdoch uni...i am from curtin...but i sometimes go to murdoch...there to hang out..sometimes drinking abit...
7.go burswood...well there i would not recommend anyone to go..there is the den of lions..not for u,...but for ur money..yea its a gambling den there...as there is a casino there where everyone goes..i have seen ppl win and lost there..so its not really good to go.
8.go freementle.there has the best fish and chips...good to eat...pricy..therefore eat once a while
9.go zion. zion is my church..i have to go..as a good citizen of christ...i have to listen to him..lol....hope i can serve soon...
10.go kings park.there is awsome especially at nite...can see the whole perth city...super nice...there is the place for ppl to "pak toh".

besides here..perth is kinda boring city too...everything closes at 5.30 pm....so here is a retirement place.....but its good to study too..cos u cant go out much....

well...thats all for now...missing all me frens back in malaysia.....family too....thats all for now from perth...

iphone

i got it i got it!!!finally got IPHONE!!!!!!but POKAI!!!!!!LOL

smile

man...the chicken was in a bad mood today..i also dono why i bad mood...maybe not enough sleep.maybe stress...i also dun really know..my colleague saw me..she asked me to smile..though i dun feel like it..i smiled..den she say it made alot difference..but still i dun have the mood..so i decided to turn to ipod..music is one of my fav way relax..and so ngam..i listen to kutless smile..

this is the lyrics:

On a plane somewhere again
I take my place in line just like every other time
I slide into my window seat
She was sitting there
One seat over so I said “Hello, how are you today?”
With my smile I could see the hope within her eyes
And I knew that something’s different today

Chorus
Though everything’s the same inside
There’s something real
A faith which causes me to change
(But what’s different now)
A spark is gleaming in my eye
Like diamond stars that fill the sky
I think a smile says it all
A smile says it all

The conversation presses on
As miles pass below, she said I have to let you know
You seem so different to me
There is a joy inside
The love of God is all I know
From which this could originate
With one smile I could see
The faith we share inside
And I know that something’s different today

I see what a smile can say about me
I know that words are not always what speak
Sometimes it’s not what I say
That the world around me seems to understand

well..seems a smile makes alot of difference..so we gotta smile more...hehe..smile and it makes alot of difference:)

change?

Was watching last nite the change of presidency in America...Barack Obama became the first "black" president..haha...it was the beginning of a new era...America created history by appointing him to be their 44th president.

wat i wanna say is..wat bout our country??can we do it?have another race to be our prime minister?the prime minister has to be a good person rite??jus do his job and keep his promises den ok rite?dun have to be the same race person rite??it kept me thinking..what if another race person took over as the prime minister of our country??will there ever be a change in our country??

What do u think??is it time for a change in our country??

Monday 19-01-2008

today i din go to work...hehe..thank god...why??cos my leg bengkak...i sprained my ankle...well..i tot it was a small sprain.cos i was able to run after tat..after puttin an ankle guard on..no problem..can run...can play badminton also..hehe

mana tau..at nite...it bengkak.babi...tat nite really i tempang like mad...even mom also suprised..one moment ok the other moment tempang..so i no need go work the next day.hhe

thank god..everything went well yesterday..had games day for the youth...the youth had to run basically...run around botanical garden labuan..luckily no one injured...all can run but most cannot do the bible book arrangement...goodness...ivy ur youth tak boleh harap la...all tau main onli...tak tau bible...hai...and they onli know how to sabo the leaders also...better make them repent and kasi holy sikit...hehe....btw the youth ROCKS...jus continue to grow and God will ENLARGE UR TERRIROTY...

tats all for today..di rumah boring..onli lie down becos of the kaki..till then..god bless

Halal CNY

This is my first year goin through CNY in a Halal way...Halal is defined as no pork!!sad to say..labuan currently has no pork to eat..this is wat happen:

see...the pasar babi has been locked..they permanent locked the place down..now we labuan kia no pork to eat..walao..i have not been eating pork for 2 weeks already..i need pork ...if not i feel like a ISLAM....deng..den need to potong d lo..dun wanna potong man..sakit..hehe

well..this year i think cny will be a year without pork....halal cny..gila eh..hehe.....i think i need we need another way to get pork in..hehe..

i see light...thank god....continue to show me the way...i trust in u...

i am on the way to be set free..finally..

suffering

y am i still suffering???
its already a month..i tot its already gone....
but no..its still here....
i laid it down at UR feet...
but i still feel it...

have i gotta wait??
i dun wanna wait..
i have been waiting patiently for 1 month
since i cried out to u in pain.
GOD its unbearable...
i desire to be free from this pain...
i wanna smile real smile...not the fake one...
wanna laugh..and not fake it...

DEAR LORD JESUS...FREE ME FROM THIS SUFFERING!!!!!!I AM HUMBLY CRYING OUT TO U IN PAIN AND DESPERATION..HEAR ME AND RELEASE ME!!!

this new year

new year has come...without me noticing...its already the second day....how bad can it be??let me shout it out....IT STILL THE SAME!!!ppl say new year comes wit new beginning...new hope..let me ask the second question....where is the damn new beginning where the old end has not end??where there is no hope how to hope??am i to put my hopes in things tat will never happen??

it onli says new year.but still same old shit to tackle...wat the hell can i do bout it??long term injury??permanent heart damage (PHD)??wait la and see..see how it goes...

how to sleep at nite when it hurts??din sleep well ever since..always wake up wit a headache and the pee stinks of alcohol...

how long??how long??how long???will u ever restore me again??when?when??when???can i get out of this dark damning hell of darkness and enjoy the sunlight again??when can i see the sky and smile at the ray of the sun??when can i see water and feel its cool refreshing wetness splashing all over my face??when will i inhale the fresh air of the outside world??when can i taste the refreshing sweetness of honey??how long do i have to wait??

this is my new year...i need answers for my when and how.....
when will WHEN become NOW???